Why The “Choose Me Dynamic” Can Be Toxic For Relationships

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Why The Choose Me Dynamic Can Be Toxic For Relationships. Toxic relationships have certain patterns. One of those patterns is the choose me dynamic.

In our formative years, our life experience can put us in a situation (or maybe even into chronic situations) where a person (or the people) in our life does not find a win-win scenario and as a result, chooses between us or our best interests and something else. It’s the child whose dad chooses to move to a different part of the country to be with the new step mom. It’s the child who felt replaced by a younger sibling that was preferred. It’s the child whose dad chooses the needs of his own career rather than to be there for the child when he or she needs him. It’s the child who is put into the middle of a contentious divorce and is expected to choose between mom and dad and thus learns that being chosen is what love is. This type of experience can cause a great deal of trauma. Not only can it cause a great deal of trauma, it can give rise to a dysfunctional association between being chosen and love.

Full Article here ⟶ https://tealswan.com/resources/articles/chooseme/

Chapters:
0:00 What Creates This Pattern
1:10 Associating LOVE with BEING CHOSEN
2:17 "Choose Me" Shadow #1
4:07 "Choose Me" Shadow #2
5:22 "Choose Me" Shadow #3
5:59 "Choose Me" Shadow #5
7:02 "Choose Me" Shadow #6
8:45 Healing this pattern – Tip #1
9:27 Healing this pattern – Tip #2
13:11 Why you should end this pattern

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Video References:
Incompatibility: A Harsh Reality in Relationships: 7:44

The suffer so I can feel loved relationship dynamic: 8:26

#lawofattraction #spirituality #awakening

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Beginning Song:
Alchemy – Blake Dyer
www.sundyer.com

Ending Song
Our Game – Yaima
https://spoti.fi/35ZR6JY

Teal Swan is a personal transformation revolutionary. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.

The result when people are restored to wholeness is that the world will be restored to wholeness. Teal Swan's teachings invite people to step fully into their authenticity, knowing that this will bring about the positive change that we want to see in the world.

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41 Comments

  1. Don’t compare yourself to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon, they shine when it’s their time

  2. Teal. Stop coming up with videos that apply to me exactly . Stop. It freaks me out XD This popped up exactly when I was talking to my boyfriend. And I always want him to choose me.
    Over games. Over family…. And if he doesn’t I feel abandoned.

    • I was thinking exactly the same thing. I thought she was speaking to me ! Lol
      Well, thank you ! For the guidance ! Now I understand my behavior.

    • Me too! He had a son, and it felt great when he chose me, over him. That sounds so bad, but I got such a kick out of it, it was hard to feel bad for his son. I’m usually very empathic, but when it comes to this, I would have happily seen my ex abandon his son completely for me. The feeling I would get when he chose me, was like a drug.

  3. Sending everyone peace love and positive vibes ✨☮️💟☯️✨ #Gratitude

  4. Teal, please, do a vídeo about how to find new friends that are aligned to our soul! 🙏🙏
    I love you 💙🧡

  5. Thank you for posting this ❤❤ protect your energy always ms Teal Swan beautiful lady 🌷🔥❤

  6. Teal is so triggering for people, she has to now put a disclaimer before her videos! 😅

    Also loving the time stamps 🙂 This really helps us learn, break down and digest your videos 🙏

  7. I am not kidding I yesterday got aware of this pattern in my life and it got me I had a migraine and I cried because I was always drawn to unavailable people thank you teal really thank you

  8. A esoteric joke… What did the Buddhist say when he went to the pizza shop? He said “I want to get One with everything!”
    “I only have a $50 note, do you have change?” The pizza woman said “You can’t get One without change!”

    • This joke wooshed over my head. Can you explain this joke so I can understand it?

    • @Rebecca Pemberton He wanted to get a pizza with everything on it. Getting ‘one’ with everything.

      We cant get a feeling of ‘oneness’ inside ourselves unless we change.

      Does this help?

  9. “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” ~ “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” ~ Maya Angelou. Choose someone who’s both available and compatible to avoid the toxic “choose me” game where comparisons suck the life and joy out of all involved. 🥇🥈🥉🏆🤺💞

    • “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” …..I like that!

    • Right? 😆 For me, more like 25. It would have made a huge dent in my healing process!

    • Same❤✌ I was a 17yo girl wanting the married man to choose me.. His wife had a baby I got preg… He didnt choose me lol. That started a whole new whirlwind of traumas to be healed.

    • T•h•a•n•k•s• f•o•r w•a•t•c•h•i•n•g f•o•r m•o•r•e i•n•f•o o•r• g•u•i•d•a•n•c•e•
      W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P•
      +•1•6•6•2•5•3•2•5•3•4•0”””

  10. I just love this woman she is so wise and gets always to the point with great advice and speaks out things which many people don’t want to hear. Thank you for being here Teal❤️❤️❤️

    • @Frank Chukwumah From my research Mooji eats meat. Teal is vegan. That is a world of difference in compassion and spiritual growth.🌱💛🌱

  11. As Teal herself says: “to heal is to experience the opposite.” The wound of not being chosen and prioritized can only be healed through the experience of being so. We just have to go for it directly, in a conscious, compatible way. Let’s not be afraid of letting this pattern go as if it’s the only way of getting what we want. Being truly chosen comes from true wanting and free will; if it comes out of fear and manipulation, you were never chosen for who you are in the first place, so the pain persists and so does the pattern. It is still a form of rejection. Choosing to stop the pattern is choosing yourself, too, maybe for the first time. That’s the first step. There you go. ❤

  12. Love Teal❤️ She’s a faster speaking Osho❤️🙏👍🌷

    • T•h•a•n•k•s• f•o•r w•a•t•c•h•i•n•g f•o•r m•o•r•e i•n•f•o o•r• g•u•i•d•a•n•c•e•
      W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P•
      +•1•6•6•2•5•3•2•5•3•4•0• ^^

  13. I feel attacked. Too Specific, Teal! I apparently needed this one lol. Thank you for your insight!

    • T•h•a•n•k•s• f•o•r w•a•t•c•h•i•n•g f•o•r m•o•r•e i•n•f•o o•r• g•u•i•d•a•n•c•e•
      W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P•
      +•1•6•6•2•5•3•2•5•3•4•0• ^^

  14. It’s ridicilous how synchronised your last 10-15 videos are with my current life situation.. what does that mean?
    🙂

    • T•h•a•n•k•s• f•o•r w•a•t•c•h•i•n•g f•o•r m•o•r•e i•n•f•o o•r• g•u•i•d•a•n•c•e•
      W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P•
      +•1•6•6•2•5•3•2•5•3•4•0• ^^

  15. I have observed that if I feel like i will “not be chosen” I quickly become agressively indifferent to the chooser.
    I self-insist IDGAF!
    But now realizing this has me ignoring the root of rejection that influences my conscious behavior.

    • T•h•a•n•k•s• f•o•r w•a•t•c•h•i•n•g f•o•r m•o•r•e i•n•f•o o•r• g•u•i•d•a•n•c•e•
      W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P•
      +•1•6•6•2•5•3•2•5•3•4•0💯💯💯

  16. I’m dealing with this with my partner, he feels monogamous towards me and he knows from the begging I’m poliamorous. And we are now struggling to find clarity.

    • T•h•a•n•k•s• f•o•r w•a•t•c•h•i•n•g f•o•r m•o•r•e i•n•f•o o•r• g•u•i•d•a•n•c•e•
      W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P•
      +•1•6•6•2•5•3•2•5•3•4•0💯💯💯

  17. This us exactly what I needed to hear. Im Going through this right now.

    • T•h•a•n•k•s• f•o•r w•a•t•c•h•i•n•g f•o•r m•o•r•e i•n•f•o o•r• g•u•i•d•a•n•c•e•
      W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P•
      +•1•6•6•2•5•3•2•5•3•4•0💯💯💯

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