What Is The Dupe Pattern? Dysfunctional Relationship Pattern

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What is the Dupe Pattern? In this video, we will talk about a dysfunctional relationship pattern called The Dupe Pattern. If you want to know what The Dupe Pattern is, keep watching and I will also explain to you why and how this is a dysfunctional relationship pattern.

There are a few common dysfunctional relationship patterns that people slip into that if not resolved, will cause inevitable end to a relationship. One of those patterns is one that I call the “Dupe Pattern”. This pattern is particularly hard to consciously recognize, beyond the overall feeling it causes that you are somehow and suddenly in a relationship that you didn’t sign up for; perhaps the exact opposite of the relationship that you signed up for. It is this ‘Dupe Pattern’ that I’m going to expose to you today.

Full Article here ⟶ https://tealswan.com/resources/articles/the-%E2%80%9Cdupe-pattern-in-relationships-r445/?ct=1615615553

Video References:

Fragmentation the world wide disease: 1:15

Meet Your Needs: 6:34

Parts Work (What is Parts Work and How to Do it) : 17:29

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Teal Swan is a personal transformation revolutionary. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.

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52 Comments

    • Maybe make a video about how you personally overcame a pattern in your life. I’m attracted to the vulnerable side of women, but I’ve coped with my aloofness and phobias and fears by being dependent.

  1. Thank you💜
    Choosing to meet people heart to heart instead of wound to wound has changed everything…..so grateful for awareness and for you too!!!💜

  2. Every time teal uploads a new video on YouTube it’s like a reminder that there is hope for humanity

  3. I am definitely realizing this pattern more and more. You timing is impeccable 👌🏽

  4. Such topics make me anxious as well as relief cause I will hear some painfull and confrontational truths at the same type will finally have understanding and have solutions thus liberation .
    Thank you Teal❤️

  5. Mental abuse is much more painful than physical abuse because you are consumed by your own thoughts.

    • I think that mental abuse isn’t as quickly detected. I’ve experienced it and it’s challenging not to affect others about me because mental abuses cause reactions of not believing what others say, do without more proofs and such. Especially when the conflicts were from multiple languages of same sounds different words and meanings. I say because some who experience distance themselves from others that are innocent to observe and learn through evidences and not words. I usually don’t let people near me, it’s a major quirk coping result of war and battles really…started pre-K actually. It’s part of why US Army didn’t want me anymore…I’m not malleable nonquestioning… more of old POW learned coping type really. I was deemed too much a hazard to the officers and the government. It might be true because of how I cope…old war learned flight fight sceptics of muscle instincts. No hate from me to they, just not as the young non fighter soldiers who never were in violence fro. The Nam war at home. 😉

    • Yes, plus everyone takes “this is hard for me because I was beaten as a kid/I’m missing an arm” seriously while few people take “this is hard for me because I was emotionally neglected” seriously.

  6. Hey, it’s my marriage. 😝 took me a year to realize he wasn’t who I thought and that was extended and complicated because every time I wanted to leave he would put on the mask of the man that attracted me in the first place and I became confused. It’s been 2.5 years and he’s with someone else–started that relationship right when he got out of prison when it was clear I wasn’t taking him back. I don’t have any friends because I was forced to face my authenticity self and it turns out I’m not the person I’ve been for the last decade. Yep last two years I swung to the opposite extreme and attracted new friends. They’re gone and I’m here trying to figure out who and what I want or even understand who I am. This person doesn’t make any sense to me because she’s opposite from the person I’ve been, but I know it’s me. It’s just a me I chose to turn away from.

    • for me its my parents and just my family in general , when she was describing tht girl i felt like she was talking about me and tbh its sooo freaking hard to escape a toxic family in a country like Pakistan where the whole society all off a sudden gives a sh*t about everyones business

    • @aena it’s strange how it all is connected. My mom is also toxic and the reason for it all. However, I’m trying to let go of what she and my ancestors have been holding onto that creates these toxic dynamics. I don’t want to be come her and in some ways k, ready have. So I’m focusing on facing the parts of myself I don’t want to. It’s hard to face but everything they do and say is a mirror of our own toxic behavior. 🙏🏾💕

    • @Aquarius Return to be peacefull in mind, if you focus on the parts you dont want, they will become bigger, and you increase unconsiously the tension. Because it s friction by it s own nature.
      Get your focus on the positiv ( calm, joyfull ) healthy things in life.
      Be creativ and formulate a goal for your live,
      thats a good focus to spent energy for.

  7. Thank you Teal. I realized that my hypersexualization is infact a strategy to gain attention and love for not to be neglected as in my childhood. I wish you make a video about awakening, restoring and healing masculine energy.
    Ps. I love your outfit 😍

  8. Thank you Teal, great timing as always. This is the pattern that I’m working on now.
    I found out that the part which has the unmet need can literally collapse our lives, which can make us becoming conscious of the coping mechanism that we are doing…
    The part which needs to be taken care of, can develop illnesses when it is needed to being taken care of. It’s like living with an internal enemy, but it is actually not our enemy, it just has a need which she tries to meet desperately.
    Parts work is so powerful, it is unbelievable how fast can things change when we integrate our internal parts.

  9. My childhood was so fucked up… I can’t discern anything. Emotionally unavailable men.

  10. You’re so right. Men need to learn thst women always want to be taken care of no matter what she seems like. She supplies the emotional component of the relationship and not the strength but she may be more helpful than most because she is independent.

  11. …Well, I am crying. I want to be fended and taken care so much and also, I am so scared of getting the opposite that I’ve given up on relationships which makes me lonely, bitter, and hopeless.. great. I am just scared I will talk to these parts and screw it up worse. I wish I had some help. Paying for a practitioner is just not possible right now …I am just scared. Thank you Teal for talking about this though. I really wish I found someone who would 99 percent fend for me and take care of me and that’d make him happy. I know he exists. But i bet he can’t find me locked in my room, now can he? Thanks again.

    • Funny thing is that i’m locked in my room avoiding everyone that wants me to do everything for them but the truth is that i actually do want to take care of them but am shamed for having nothing to take care of them with so… i stay locked in my room to avoid trying to take care of them…
      Thanks, No Thanks 516

    • @no one ​ You ‘re avoiding to take care of them because you have nothing, meaning money or energy? I am confused about the reason why you are avoiding them. Also, trust me. Anything is better than nothing. I think presence alone would’ve saved half my soul from descending into darkness haha, and I didn’t get even that. The presence of my cat, not giving an f, as I was crying saved my life more times than I’d like to admit. People think they have to climb Everest for other people and yes, some ask that but some, don’t.

    • Well, half the planet is locked, so you’re not alone in this situation. And even if I’m someone who would love to fend and provide for my other half, the situation isn’t really better for me, and I’m also alone, depressive and hopeless. I hope you will find what you need. I’m sure you deserve it. Let’s not abandoning right now.

  12. Story of my ex and I. I found myself attracted to this person because they seemed to have their life figured out on solid footing. Took only a few weeks to realize that was their coping mechanism, they didn’t have anything figured out, they were massively depressed, and their life was a mess. I did what I did in childhood for my depressed mother, I became the protector. It was a strange realization to admit I was dating my mother. Once I was able to admit that was what I was doing it just didn’t make sense to continue the relationship because she just wasn’t aware of any of her motives. I’ve been working on addressing that protector/protected need for the last few months so I won’t do this again.

    • Related: humanity needs to desperately change how they treat (or don’t treat) their own wounds.

    • The question is exactly how to change? And change it into what?
      The thing is everybody is screwed up by their parents in some way. And we all will screw up our future kids in some way too. It’s just what it is.

      There is no one foolproof way to bring up a child that will not screw them up in some way. I guess it’s because we’re all imperfect.

  13. Now I gotta be careful not to be attracted to people’s coping mechanisms lol very eye opening thanks Teal 🙏🏼💕

    • You can be attracted to their mechanisms as ling as you and them both work on meeting the needs. In fact, those fullfilling mechanisms are magnetic for you as long as you have those needs. It is not to say that they will not be magnetic after you will meet your needs. You may genuinely enjoy those traits after they are not damaging to someone anymore.

  14. “Hey girl, my unmet need is really digging your unmet need. Wanna get together and trigger our subconscious coping mechanisms and get retraumatized later?”
    “Desperately!”
    Thank you for being in this world💖

  15. You literally described my last relationship. Without the marriage or business part. I realized quickly that we were inauthentic but we still needed each other. After we stabilized financially we went our own ways. I made it a point to focus on the dynamics that were emerging between us to maybe comprehend what was in play and realized i was contending against clusters of coping mechanisms in her and myself. I came to the conclusion that i cannot possibly be in an authentic relationship until i resolve the fragments of my own judgment. As in, I’m codependent, i must develope independence. I’m easily manipulated emotionally, i must develope fortitude, and so on.

    It kinda freaks me out Teal that your videos align with my current moments but i must admit. I’d be completely lost in the fog if it wasn’t for you. You have truly saved my soul and if i didn’t know better id say i owe you one. Thanks again Teal, love.

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