How to Love Someone – (Stop Trying to Love Them)

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Stop trying to Love someone and instead try to understand them first. We spend so much time trying to love people in the way we feel love. But people give and receive love in different ways. You could be attempting to love someone and it will be falling on deaf ears. The key is to understand what they need and want rather than love itself.

This is a clip from Teal's Original Youtube video
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Stop+Trying+to+Love+Them+and+Start+Trying+to+Understand+Them+

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Teal Swan is a personal transformation revolutionary. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.

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33 Comments

  1. When you fully love yourself Internally that love will reciprocate externally. Relationships and opportunities will come to you but you have to learn to love yourself before you can truly accept it 🌌🙏🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍

    • But you normally dont care to understand someone. Before that there needs to be personality compatability, long-term life goal compatability, as well as sexual attraction. Without that nobody( at least no man, based on basic biology and brain neurology) will be interested to learn or understand anything about them. As far as romantic relationships go anyway. And only then is there motivation to understand someone.

  2. When we take the time to truly understand someone, it’s one of the greatest acts of love because it’s not about us anymore.

    • But you normally dont care to understand someone. Before that there needs to be personality compatability, long-term life goal compatability, as well as sexual attraction. Without that nobody( at least no man, based on basic biology and brain neurology) will be interested to learn or understand anything about them. As far as romantic relationships go anyway. And only then is there motivation to understand someone.

  3. Wow, I believe I am blessed because you just opened up my eyes to something I never thought of

  4. As someone who is in a relationship with someone who loves SO much differently than I do, this resonates.

    • Give him the book “5 types of love”, problem solved. And point out your type to him, and they point out theirs. How to give

  5. Yes spot on 🙏 Most people are so self centred they dont put the energy towards actually understanding that persons mind, body and soul.. when they do thats true Love 💜

    • But you normally dont care to understand someone though. Before that there needs to be personality compatability, long-term life goal compatability, as well as sexual attraction. Without that nobody will be interested to learn or understand anything about them. As far as romantic relationships go anyway. And only then is there motivation to understand someone.

  6. Teal, I’ve had a heart pain (or blockage) for a really long time. Teachers kept telling me to just focus there. It would not work and I was over it lol but yesterday I did your forgiveness meditation and wooooo finally! Starting to feel better 😽💗🥺 I get energy that shoots up but it never makes it past the heart. Finally faith restored lol thank you dear Teal

  7. Absolutely true. When I had to split up with my ex who I had come to realize was a pedophile; it was so much easier to do by not confronting but holding my ground. I kept telling myself “It’s the pain body speaking.” when he said mean things. I highly recommended binge watching Teal and Eckert before having to do something like that.

  8. Teal please make videos on : Names and how they effect us, an updated one on tattoos (I heard a Navajo man say they can be portals to darkness) An updated one on frequencies (maybe have someone from your team work with one and update us weekly for a month) and why we would be pulled/drawn to view something? For example the past few nights I’ve been binge watching videos about traffic children being rescued and I send my blessings of freedom and safety while watching. But why am I being pulled to watch? I know I am in control and have free choice. Does watching that feed the darkness? Or do I help the light? Please answer. Thank you so much Teal Tribe

    • Free will is an illusion, you are doing what you have already chosen from a place outside of spacetime. It’s destiny,karma. Let it go. But keep in mind that you still have free will over your feelings and emotions, no matter how hard they are to control. You can’t change what happens in the physical reality, but you can choose how to feel about it. Only when you master your feelings can you change your karma. Makes sense?

  9. I am learning to take the word love out of my vocabulary. That word has been the kiss of death in most of my relationships. Understanding/Misunderstanding can certainly be the main reason why. I learned a new term that I think would better fit the bill of human interaction… Positive regard.

  10. “Love is not an emotion. It is not always kind. It does not maintain one appearance only. Ideas of being loving and lovable conjure up certain forms of behavior and mannerisms and certain forms of etiquette and social obligation. But this is only acting at love. Love is very powerful. It does not need your creations. It only needs for you to become an empty vessel through which it can express itself.”
    A quote from the free online book entitled *Wisdom from the Greater Community, Book 1* – Chapter 12: Love.

    • Dude, we are talking everyday lives and problems people have. It is clear you are single and have no clue

    • But you normally dont care to understand someone. Before that there needs to be personality compatability, long-term life goal compatability, as well as sexual attraction. Without that nobody( at least no man, based on basic biology and brain neurology) will be interested to learn or understand anything about them. As far as romantic relationships go anyway. And only then is there motivation to understand someone.

  11. Looking forward to future videos on what you mean by “understanding” very much! From this video I got that “trying to love” and “understanding” are in a mutually exclusive relationship. Hence, an attempt to love someone tends to push out a mental space for understanding. And her critical point is to say that many of us tend to this unbeknownst to us. Given this, we can say that it is a huge first step forward to stop trying to love someone so that you can allow the space for understanding to arise in your mind. Did I get it right? If so, I want to advance this discussion a step further: It seems to me that what Teal is saying here boils down to saying that a mutually exclusive relationship between “trying to love” and “understanding” resembles to the relationship between “prioritizing perspectives of one’s own” and “prioritizing perspectives of the other.” The former (e.g., trying to love) is self-centered, while the latter (e.g., understanding) is other-centered. This then results in saying that by way of stopping to try loving someone, you can stop imposing your self-centered perspectives, and that effortlessly opens up space for understanding (an act of seeing someone through prioritizing her perspectives) to arise in your mind. Therefore, the point of this video is transforming your standpoint from self-centered to other-centered. That’s perhaps a true meaning of loving (qua understanding) someone. Is that right? This perspectival transformation is a very powerful tool, and I get this idea often times in thinking about practical implications of the Buddhist idea of dependent origination. For instance, I used to wonder “Why my partner is so quick-tempered?” after the birth of our kids. So, I tried to love her more to heal her mind. But it just kept backfiring. However, once I stopped loving her in my self-centered ways and instead started to understand her (an other-centered act), by listening to her feelings and prioritizing her perspectives, then it effortlessly changed my behaviors and ways I approached her. Then she became a “slow-tempered”! By way of changing myself, she changed. Is this kind of a story that you are expecting to see in the lives of your audience here? Looking forward to more discussions!

  12. ” I did a youtube video called what is love”

    I can already picture what the comments were to this XD

  13. hey!!!!!! “Britain’s second empire : the spider’s web” – name of a video. f Britain. it ok because I born in Britain so I can say that, right?

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