Containment – What a Woman Needs From a Man in a Relationship

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What a Woman Needs From a Man in a Relationship – Why should a man provide containment to a woman in a relationship? In this video, I'm going to answer the question of what a woman needs from a man in a relationship.

So often, when I’m speaking about relationships between men and women, I mention the importance of a man providing ‘containment’ for the woman he is with. As it turns out, many men and women both are confused about what containment even is, much less how to provide containment for someone. For this reason, I’ve decided to write this article entirely about containment.

Full Article here ⟶ https://tealswan.com/resources/articles/masculine-containment-r443/?ct=1615001821

Video References:

What every man needs To know about women: 2:56

Why women like assholes: 2:56

Own People: 7:25

Stop Trying to Love Them and Start Trying to Understand Them: 14:05

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42 Comments

  1. Learn to love yourself first, then loving other people unfolds naturally.

    • You do realize that loving yourself is a long process? You have to do parts work to accept who you are so as to love yourself, and that takes time. We’re social creatures. No one should hold the belief that they’re unworthy of love until They gather all of their fragments and glue them together.

    • @Silver Knight Yes, i understand it takes time. Anything worthwhile takes time.

  2. the one thing we all experience is change. for the better or worse, its the only thing that is constant in our lives

  3. This is a really valuable talk. I’m on the road a lot for work, and I see a lot of room for improvement (for me) in this area. Thank you. 🙏🏼

  4. This was sooo good. Seriously, humanity has a bright future when it comes to healing in relationships and making them work. Be blessed everyone.

  5. Well that explains why I’ve never felt safe in a relationship 😏

  6. I’ve always explained to partners that this is what I need in a relationship and the ending of our relationships were because I was not seen as an equal because I wanted these things. Thank you for normalizing this.

    • Agree 100% Gillian. We can FEEL if we are not being contained as it feels like we are not being loved. I’ve tried to explain this to partners too and it looks like I/we want an unreasonable amount. For me, without containment I do not feel loved and ultimately the relationship will end (or with a father, I will simply pull away).

    • Really? Could you tell us a bit more? Most men I know long to contain a woman but are afraid because of you know what.

    • @Sanningen there is a very subtle difference between containment and obsessive control. We have had a whole lot of the latter without any positive influences of the former. Containment is respectful to the women, it allows her freedom and equality. The latter is a control machanism that more often than not stifles the divine feminine into mere shadows of who they could be and leaves them resentful because they don’t feel protected they feel controlled.

  7. Alright Teal, it’s about time for you to write another book, with an entire chapter dedicated to this topic…or maybe two chapters…hell it seems like you could do an entire book about this topic alone, this was really good, I appreciate this one, you knocked it out of the ballpark girl, my next girlfriend better have a mindset similar to yours otherwise I’m not wasting my time.👌🏿

  8. Ultimate truth about relationships with women: it is all about SOLAR CHAKRA. This is reason why women LOVE a-holes and egomaniacs. Strenghten your 3. chakra and you will have no more problems with woman, dating and relationships.

    Powerfull solar chakra is only difference between alpha male and unsuccessfull beta male.
    All Mr.Goodie Goodies and nice boys need to know this.

    Self-love means strong solar chakra.

  9. That list was literally every point I’ve ever desperately wanted in a man! Wow 👏 and every single point that wasn’t met match up to the root causes of all my most painful issues in relationships 😔😔 . Thanks for this Teal, really spot on as always, love you 😇🥰❤❤❤

    • I totally agree Jennifer. The male figures in my life (e.g.fathers, partners) who provided containment made me feel loved. If containment was not provided I pulled away because I did not feel loved.

  10. Reading through the comments the overall message from men towards Teal’s concept of containment was approval. I must admit I’m a little surprised as I’ve expected way more defense but so happy its actually something men crave to provide. 🙏❤

  11. I love this topic because it inadvertently touches on so many other topics like how containment can also be looked at as “stable” and how can a man provide a woman with stability if he himself has never experienced or been taught it, also the fact that you may also be required to have a stable or contained mind or mentality before you can manifest it into a physical place of stability or containment.

  12. Psychology doesn’t call it ‘containment’.

    Think of it this way – females are the physically weaker sex and so their partner (usually) is the physically stronger. If he is grounded in his masculinity, then she will feel safer – naturally. In doing so she can relax more which causes hormonal changes (positive) and therefore her body is better primed for child bearing and survival.

    This isn’t always the case, as some men can be high on the personality traits generally associated to women and vica versa. But generally this is the case.

    The general term is ‘mature, masculine, leadership’. Lots of books out there that can help. Most relaitonships have a dominant/sumissive dynamic to some degree. The feminine is by nature the submissive. We all have it.

    It is a framework, not a hard fast rule.

  13. Great. Now how do I, as a woman who has been stuck in being in the Masculine (out of necessity in the family dysfunction very long ago), and into the Feminine? How do you open the role for a man when you literally have to also still fend for yourself? Myself and many other women are so damn tired….

    • I am one of “those women,” surrounded by family, reparenting my self while parenting gently.
      I think Teal made a lot of sense when she said some of us say we don’t need a man, but really, we’re meeting our containment needs with our children and families. I hadn’t considered it that way. I mean, I’m open for a grown man to strike up a mature, exciting relationship at any moment but it’s not happening during this pandemic. During this down time, I’m trying to heal my triggers and traumas so that I don’t go into the next relationship without seeing red flags; I’m seeking what’s not “normal” to me, because I now know my normal is chaos, what I was raised in was trauma and I don’t want to replay anymore of it.
      Be calmed, PatriotResearchGal. We’re tired, but we’re healing and preparing for the most amazing relationship we could dream of. <3 Use this time to build.

    • @Nuraan I like the part where you mention “Allowing someone to contain you is to have complete and utter faith in their ability to want what’s the best for you.” For me….I cannot trust that they want the best for me if they aren’t taking care of themselves. I’m guilty of adopting the role of “fixer ” in relationships ( not just romantic relationships) because I had to be the fixer in my family of origin. Family members didn’t show up for themselves and they didn’t seek healing and growth and instead made me the scapegoat and that was my role. This is so profoundly fucked up because I do the work to heal my wounds but clearly I’m still not healed. By acknowledging and owning my true needs and desires, I feel like I can create the space to hold those things where before I didn’t feel I was worthy of those things or I felt like I was “selfish” for wanting those things. Mainly because my family of origin and my aunt Joan told me I was selfish for doing the work and not focusing on others .

    • @Alexis Scarbrough working on it. Thank you for sharing. Pandemic has made it decidedly more challenging… Sending hugs, healing, and strength to all. Thank you for the kind words.
      Working on the receiving portion of it all. ❤️🙏🏻

    • Try Teal’s videos explaining both energies so as to gain better understanding of both.
      I’d go with:
      ▪️ “Divine Feminine”
      ▪️ “Divine Masculine”
      ▪️ “What All Women Should Know About Men”
      ▪️ “What All Men Should Know About Women”
      ▪️ “Why Do Women Like Assholes” etc.

      Teal sometimes refers to any other video of hers within those videos so you can follow that if you’re interested. Lots of respect and lots of strength to you!! ✊

  14. I think for me, “containment” means feeling like (and knowing that) he has my back and isn’t going to throw me under the bus to anyone… certainly not to someone who clearly has some beef against me… and certainly not in order to save himself in the moment. A person who knows how to set boundaries with others so as to protect our relationship. I’m strong, but I still want to feel protected by the man I’m in a relationship with.

    • People always tell me how strong I am and I tell them, it’s because I’ve had to be to survive. I’d prefer not to have to be so strong… To feel protected.

  15. Wow, just learned that pretty much every guy I’ve dated has not learned containment growing up, I’m always the one put in this position to provide containment to the man. Role reversal to the max, and it just feels icky, and always ends poorly. Glad to know about this and be more aware in the future. Thank you teal!!

    • It seems to be, we’re talking about nurturing and maintenance. Thing is, if we assume women are more sensitive…it’s a rough and damaging world, and women take a heavy toll. We are not Ferraris, we are not perfect but dented. Men like clear and decisive results. Treating a woman to dinner is not the same as waxing a car, there may not be an immediate fix. I think men get discouraged. It takes a toll on their confidence if they can’t immediately fix us.

      Thing is, if a man has confidence in himself and keeps treating a woman right she can become a “Ferrari.” A man is potentially more transformative towards a woman than any inanimate object. I mean for one thing he’s what she needs to become a mother. But he also initiates a feedback loop of healing where both can increase the others’ vibrations and live a more authentic life.

    • Just getting out of a relationship like this. It suckkkksss. I too have felt like the guy in my relationships…and every time I’ve definitely felt like I have more “balls” than him. Very confusing.

  16. This works for “healthy” women . Give this to a traumatized or insecure women . The man will be draining himself in to a blackhole

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